If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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