Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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