If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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