I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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