Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize