Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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