Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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