i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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