is your mom at the bar?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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