I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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