dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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