a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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