i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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