just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize