I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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