Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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