i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
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Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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