i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
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angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize