Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize