Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize