yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
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You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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