Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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