so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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