Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize