I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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