I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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