My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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