goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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