well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize