1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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