He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My cat gives me a boner
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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