so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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