He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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