ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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