do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize