It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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