yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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