no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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