I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize