I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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