I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I looked at my own cervix.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize