One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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