I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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