we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize