Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize