last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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