One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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