just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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