Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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