Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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